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Evil Plans of Planet Jel

rock, metal, pop, whatever!

Sunday, April 25, 2004

So, it's now my intention to restart this blog, just to post a review of a song a day, starting tomorrow.

.: posted by james 5:50 PM

Monday, December 02, 2002

Komeit: Falling into place

Komeit wake up really early on summer mornings to record their songs. There is a sense of the fragile light-headedness of watching the sky turn deeper shades of blue. Sleepiness prevails and results in songs awash with languid melodies and whispering boy/girl vocals.

This duo are from Berlin. They are a mixture of as many slow core bands you could care to mention, crossed with rhythmic beats, drones and strums. The simplicity of their music is to be admired, to not go for everything and the kitchen sink ethos seems to be a rare quality in these days of electro-clash, bootlegs and nu-metal (not that these don't have their merits!). Less is more, just seems to be going out of fashion.

“I use words like a puzzle, until finally they fit”. The feelings evoked from listening to this group are contradictory, a sort of sombre warmth, happy sad. The opening song for instance sets the minimal-istic slightly harsh sonic tone, yet it is a quirky little song about the owner pet relationship. All in all one of my favourite albums of this year. There is an MP3 of one of their songs at the Monika Records site: here!

.: posted by james 6:36 PM

Sunday, November 24, 2002

Smash Hits Poll Winners Party

2002 the year that pop broke, nah. 2002 the best year in pop, since the last best year in pop, that’ll do. Today’s show is presented by June (in white cat suit and Alicia Keys hat) and Vernon Kay (looking Stokeasis) along with pint size pop dynamo Kelly Osbourne. Justin Timberlake is supposed to be there, but he’s broken his foot (and is probably quite relieved). You really should forget about all the other award shows, as this is the true test of POPularity. And remember, and remember this above everything else, thank the fans for their support and being there from the start. There would be hell to pay otherwise.

It’s Gareth Gates who wins the most awards, none for goody goody Will Young. He gets best haircut, most fanciable male, best male solo artist, and Woolworth’s best newcomer. He is wearing a mould colour t-shirt with what looks like bloodstains on it, as he been hanging out with Andrew WK? I do admit that Gareth is a good singer, and seems to have a bit more personality than a lot of the clone troopers on display.

The show kicked of with a performance by pop’s survivors Liberty X. Resplendent in black and gold. Outlasting the dearly departed Hear’ Say, catching up on the ailing S Club and it’s been a long time since the good ship Steps sank. The future is bright for Liberty X! And they win Woolworth’s best single for their subtle “just a little”. The other pop survivor Darius is voted best dressed male, but, he’s wearing a kilt, he’s wearing a kilt!!!!

I have a theory about Westlife, who are inducted into the hall of fame. They are clearly clone troopers (I suspect Old Father Pop Ronan Keating is the dark lord of the Sith). They perform “Unbreakable” (clearly an ode to their superior genetic code), in fact they are so uber that they don’t even have to dance. Take That had to dance like there was no tomorrow, but not Westlife, each member gets his scream quota, and I assume this is what powers them. They also win best band, best international band, and Big Bad Bry wins “party mentalist”, and dedicates his award to “all the British firemen”.

But, on the horizon, at the crossroads, is the result of someone else’s master plan. There is a hormonal rush, and on stage are ten 16-year-old boys wearing the First Sport winter collection. Blazin’ Squad may be our only hope. Germ free adolescents, not a blemish. A polished performance, each getting his 20 seconds. Ten of them! Yes, what a stroke of genius, think about it, more members means more choice, how democratic. Whoever is behind this master plan, I fear them.

So, who else performs? Well, we have the fk8er bois (Busted) appearing with a stack of marshalls, a lack lustre performance from Atomic Kitten, an out of place Ms Dynamite, and Darius. Jade from Big Brother is there, she wins an award for having a big mouth, and we learn that she has a fitness video coming out, and is in Panto. Now, that’s what I call fame.

Best rock goes to the Calling!!! What!?! Holly Valance wins most fanciable female and manages not to flash her knickers when performing Kiss Kiss.

The two best performances are Kelly Osbourne and her rock-tastic new single “Shut up”. A punka tune of not wanting to be told what to do, and she screams “1,2,3,4”. The Sugababes, pout and sway and sing live, and basically blow most of the others away, especially the Kitten.

S Club are on their way out, billed as S Club United, we get the Juniors “New Direction” with a brief segway into the Club’s “Alive”. Jo’s not there again, she’s done her back in. Get the movie out!

The show ends with a Westlife Medley, but I’m not paying attention by then.

.: posted by james 7:28 PM